Me Time

My husband and I have had many discussions since our son was born regarding the changes in our lives. It really wasn't that long ago that we were free to come and go as we pleased without timing naps and feeds. We would stay up late on Friday nights watching movies and spend Saturdays wandering the shops. We would meet up with friends for a BBQ and a few beers. On Sunday we would do grocery shopping and have a lazy lunch and then I would spend Sunday night dreading the working week. That was our simple life.

In my current life I often have no idea what day it is. This isn't something I say to people to make a point about how busy or tired I am. It's just that the routine of a new baby doesn't change depending on the day. The only difference between working days and weekends is that my husband is home or not home. Ok, so I have some outings during the week and we do catch up with friends on the weekend (sometimes), but as any new Mum knows - outings are not what they used to be.

When I complain to my husband that I no longer have any time to myself he does something that makes me a little crazy - he agrees. He gives me a knowing look as if this statement applies to him also. He makes helpless gestures in that 'what can we do?' sort of way. He actually believes we are experiencing this together. He even has the audacity to look tired.

I'm sure my face twitches when he does this. I'm fairly sure little puffs of steam come from my nose and ears. I'm definitely sure that there is a storm brewing with this topic. Don't get me wrong, I acknowledge that there are changes in his life, but allow me to elaborate on what I mean about time to myself.

In the morning my husband rises and goes to the gym, alone with just himself to worry about, just like the good old days. When he gets home he has breakfast when he chooses and then has a shower for whatever amount of time he needs. He casually gets dressed, jumps on the computer for a quick news fix and then finally gets in the car (alone) to go to work. He can turn the music up. He can swear at other drivers. He can get peacefully get stuck in traffic without thinking about how long he has before the little guy starts screaming for a feed. At work he mingles with other adults (he may disagree with this point) and has a lunch break at a time when he is hungry. A whole hour! He then gets another car trip home. Once home, he spends a maximum of 45 minutes with our son before he is due to go down for the evening. After doing whatever he likes for the rest ofevening, he goes to bed at a time he chooses and sleeps for the entire night.

I don't really need to expand on this. I think my subtle point has been made. Before you start thinking that I have an awful husband, I don't. He's a beautiful man who is just a little naive right now. He doesn't understand why when he talks about baby number two, I flinch. I know this will change and I will be begging for another child in 12 months time, but right now I need to get over the shock of number one.

Time to yourself doesn't have to be a trip to the movies, shopping or even the hairdressers. A long shower or a wee with the door closed could be good enough.